I like to say I’m not a trendy person. I don’t like Pumpkin Spice Lattes (mostly because I’m too frugal for Starbucks). I don’t wear those big scarves (mostly because I can’t figure out how to make it look “normal” no matter how many YouTube videos I watch!). And up until very recently, I had never seen Pitch Perfect, worn leggings as pants, or tried holiday specific Jamberry’s. So the other night, when I was told I was a hipster, it made me realize I might actually be a Basic Girl in Denial. So I figured I’d examine my life, starting with my kiddos. I present to you, 5 Trendy Mommy Things I Never Did:
#1: Breastfeeding until my kids were toddlers. Honesty moment: I didn’t breastfeed either of my boys for very long. With my first, I stopped producing milk when he was about 4 weeks old. With my second, I was just too overwhelmed with having two children, a full time job that required travel, and a VERY hungry newborn, so I took the easy route. Looking back I wish I could say I pumped, prayed, and fought to be sure that I was the one feeding my kids, “directly from the source” but you know what? I’m lazy. I’ve got nothing but respect for my friends who nurse their kiddos, but I’m always left out of the “I got kicked out of a store for nursing” stories. Which is okay, because I got to drink wine without having to Google “Pump and Dump Protocol”.
#2. Co-sleeping. Uhm, no. First of all, who sleeps soundly when in the back of your mind you think you might roll over on your kid? Secondly, I’ve had to share a bed with my kiddos while visiting family and such, and they NEVER. STOP. MOVING. So chalk this one up to me being selfish, too, but I want to be in my bed with just my husband. Who stays on his side. And my dog. Who provides warmth.
#3. Making my own baby food. I’m noticing the trend (no pun intended) that the things I didn’t do required extra effort on my part. Making your own food sounds glorious and organic and loving… And exhausting. I’ve actually begun a version of the Paleo Diet, and making good food is TIME CONSUMING! I mean, seriously, just buy the organic baby mush and move on. Neither of my kids ate the pureed stuff for long anyway. I would have been mad at the money spent on a Baby Bullet!
#4. Cloth-Diapering. Oh I talked a big game when I was pregnant with my second little guy! I was going to cloth diaper, he was going to be totes adorbs and I even PURCHASED diapers. And then I didn’t even try. Because ew. Because laundry. Because I hate the earth. Okay, the last one isn’t true. I actually am appalled at the waste we create, but not enough to hand rinse the disasters that come out of a baby’s rear end.
#5. Pinterest Perfect Announcements, Gender Reveals, Maternity Photos… Etc.. Etc.. So it may be part of our daily conversation now, but Pinterest is a fairly new thing. And that thing has become a monster of envy and status. You know how I told people I was pregnant? Phone calls. Texts. Facebook status without any fun pictures, quirky videos, or dogs in tshirts. In the spirit of truthfulness, I would have done all the things, if I had had Pinterest to be creative for me. Trust me, I’m very bitter about that thing not existing before I got married. Damn you Pinterest for creating a false sense of inadequacy!
So that’s my list. What Trendy Mommy things could you just not get into?