Five Reasons I Would Be the Best Housewife Ever

1.  I have zero issues with the word “housewife.” Oh sure, it’s cute to put “Ambassador Of Toddler Relations” as your job on Facebook, or confuse the less than savvy with the title SAHM (here), or even refuse to call it anything in order to make some rah-rah statement about how it’s the only really hard job in the world (and we’ve convinced our husbands, too!)… But I actually LIKE the term “housewife”. For me, it harks back to the TV Land nostalgia of women who took care of the house, the kids, the hubs, all while looking like a million bucks and with a smile. I so wanna be those women. I’ll do anything to keep from turning into the sitcom mommy monster that is portrayed everywhere these days.

2. I actually ENJOY doing the laundry. Let me explain how “doing laundry” happens in our house. I let it pile up for 3 or 4 days. When you’ve got a husband that wears three outfits a day, a child with a school uniform AND play clothes, and a toddler that likes to wear his two breakfasts more than eat them, that’s a lot of garments. Yeah, yeah, I have clothes in there somewhere, too, but most of it is stuff I was too lazy to hang back up after I changed four times to try NOT to wear the standard mommy uniform of yoga pants/leggings/sweats and a tshirt.  So when I say I’m doing laundry, what I mean is, “It’s gonna take me two to three hours to wash, dry, and fold all this stuff, and since I’ve got an iPad, I’m bringing Netflix with me.” Ahhh, binge watching of House of Cards or Grey’s Anatomy, you know, the way God intended it when we decided to wear clothes.

3. I’m a big fan of sparkling bathrooms. I’d like to find out who my congressperson is, write him/her a letter and request that it become public law that boys should pee sitting down. Because seriously, the messes! If you come over and think, “Wow, your bathroom looks great!” It’s not because I have angels for sons. It’s because OH THE HUMANITY of the splashes, and underwear left behind, and trails of dirt, and lord knows what else is tracked into my house… And why it compiles in the bathrooms I’ll never understand. And so I clean them, like, a lot.

4.  Meal planning is THE BEST. If you don’t meal plan, then you’re just wrong. Here’s how it breaks down: 10% of the time is spent checking pantry and freezer for items I currently have. 5% of time is spent writing down meals on my fancy dry erase board. The other 85% of time is devoted to scouring Pinterest for recipes I’ll never make before finally settling on my old stand-by’s. Boom, I’m an organized hero and my family has dinner every most nights.

5. I’ve done the alternative. I worked in the “corporate world” for eight years. I traveled, I worked long hours, I made good money, and I spent way more time with strangers and co-workers than I did with the people that are nearest and dearest to me. My focus was on bringing home some bank, and not on loving and serving my family. So when I say I would be a great housewife, it’s because I know my purpose. My true joy is found in taking care of them (even if I indulge in myself at the same time!). If I were a housewife, I could honestly say I love my “job.” But seriously, it’s not a job, it’s part of our lives. So just live it.

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